we parted at the gantry of a train station not far from my place 2 hours ago; a stirring of stranger's voices, bellowing announcements, 3 black baggages, the shuffling of tickets, long-held looks, close embraces, touch.
he's left for Holland for his final-year project and I suppose this marks the start of a somewhat long distance relationship with intermittent periods of meeting up. Parting was certainly emotional, but there's also a strange steady sense of peace and assuredness that God goes before us and is with us. There will be pangs, recollections, and bouts of longing - but safely tucked 'neath the overarching wings of One who gives what's best and who holds time in His hands What's 2 weeks, 1 month, 3 months or a year in the eyes of eternity if it's truly ours to hold?
'twas a beautiful 3 weeks together. spent particularly lots of time together in the last 1 week, when he'd wait up for me during my 3-4 hour rehearsals and send me home after that, despite staying more than an hour away; when we'd chill out at each other's places; when we'd occasionally stuff ourselves with pub grub, catch a few nights out with his friends (Bleach on PS2 and lots of nuts), watch DVDs and Cowboy Bebop, and so on. Went to the gym and pool for the first time together yesterday which was quite a lot of fun, and then in the evening went for a dress-up 'finito-esque' dinner near my place. The food was truly amazing - oysters, foie gras, fish and wine - and there were smiles, hearts aflutter, montepulciano, fireplace, glances, nods, enjoyable conversation... and excellent waitering/waitressing.
but it's not just... the fancy stuff that's all wow, really. At one moment tears just sprang to my eyes when a scan of the whole past year suddenly leapt back to my mind. Was, and still am, incredibly moved by the way Daddy's been leading us through the past year. For me in particular, through the time of singleness, which was a necessary stage in preparing me for this one, through uncertainty and painful surrendering, through waiting and praying and seeking about each other, through the time of drawing closer, in finally deciding to commit, and now in our interaction and growth together. Humanly impossible, really, in terms of its splendid timing and the staggered movement from one phase to another. There's still so much uncertainty about how I'm going to be healed over past relationships and mistakes or grow in confidence to be a woman who will truly bless him. But God's there, God's delivering, and God's protecting this r/s. We've both come to realise just how much we need Him in the picture, and in being completely honest, transparent and truly loving with each other . The moment we lose it with God individually... we just lose something with each other. There've been slip-ups, errors and failings... but I pray we'll just keep learning and growing in God so we'll grow to love each other even more.
Ah, you must be sick of reading the ramblings of a lovesick bunny. Rest assured, I'll blog more about other stuff in the weeks to come, perhaps about the whole musical fiasco, about OCF cell group squishy-ness, about my lovely friends Anna and Steffi, about my housemates too I guess. Hmmmmmmmm.
But for now, pictures for the busybodies -
Ecclesiastes 3:1-11
"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
... a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
... He has made everything beautiful in its time."
