It's heartening to know that at the end of it all, your parents' words have always meant to guide you away from danger, even tho they might sting in the face of adolescent pride and stubbornness. It's not very nice, this disillusionment - so many childish hopes and ideals we all held about relationships in school have been dashed and my eyes have finally been open to the realism my mom was suggesting all the while. People grow, people change, time and distance are huge obstacles.We never listen, do we? I always think adults were excessively paranoid about the passions and flings we had in school, but when I look back with eyes less dim I realise for the first time how unstable, how damaging, how bittersweetly pleasurably painful those fires were. Ashes, ashes, fire into ashes. And this part of me is welling up with deep gratitude inside for words my mom have spoken to me to hold me back, even tho I didn't listen a lot of the time, even tho I tried to writhe myself away from her grasp, her good grip on my life prevented much further hurt and at times like this I just want to say,
Thank you, ma, and I love you.
