Golden syrup-laden trees and crystal blue skies and bronzing people and laughter and sounds of football-kicking and fluttering hearts and sparkling eyes and cheery smiles and ah! the warmth! the warmth! The golden rays of sunshine are abundant and profuse but it's not too hot as in Singapore, wheee! the smiles of summer sunshine! :)
oh goodness, has half a year really passed by??? it's June!
God has been so real and faithful this week (well, as usual), but this week especially because it seemed to be a whole week of answered prayers. Previously something seemed to be lacking in my relationship with Him, some kind of assurance or feeling of intimacy that I used to have but seemed to have lost, and on hindsight it's a good thing because I knew it was a time of waiting/testing and a time of weaning me away from feelings. This week has been amazing when suddenly the intimacy came back and I remember again what it's like to be in Love; when I look back I realise that all the praying and waiting and sense of loss in the previous weeks have taught me to wait and trust in God, and know that my prayers in His will will be answered in due time. As I reflected I remembered Job (tho I know this is nothing like Job's experience) and the darkness he went through despite his constant faithfulness, and realised how God is amazing above it all, that He's there and lovin ya no matter what circumstances or situations you're in. And that's such amazing security because no matter what circumstances I face I know I have joy in the one true Constancy of life! :)
Right from the start of this week it's been amazing. Sunday kicked off with a day at Castle Howard with my beloved Singaporean mates, and it was such an opportunity after I realised last week that I wanted to spend more time with my hometown mates. A time of tag and running around in green fields and soaking up the sunshine, we even witnessed a big bully dog eat up a child's ice-cream when he wasn't looking, and the poor child, he just kept crying and crying and it was quite an upsetting sight, oh well, the unfairness of this world. But it was a nice day, and in a sense awakening to some realities I shan't mention, but I'm glad at the end of the day God provided friends to talk about certain issues that weighed on my heart (thanks for asking after me). And then it rolled onto Monday...
Skyped with mommy and it was so heartfelt and encouraging as usual. Shared about our individual experiences with God and the various opportunities He's given us, wherever we are. Mom's just been given a chance to host at Suntec at one of the book stalls in the big book fair, and her role was to introduce a couple of books by certain local Christian authors. And she's going to publish hers (in Chinese) soon, hopefully! 多多支持 OK~ Anyways, I was concerned a while ago about money issues as I watched my bank balance decrease quite non-understandably, and I didn't exactly know how much I'd have to bring back to Singapore and yada. MOE's going to pay me for my attachment this year but it's not going to be much, but anyways I left it as that and didn't bother much because there wasn't much point worrying about it; God would provide, I thought. And He did! It's amazing, I didn't have to go about seeking for it because He dropped two tuition kids into my hands and mom said she's arranged it for me (I didn't even tell her anything about money issues) and ensured that I'd earn at least S$600 a month back home. Oh my goodness.
Later that day I went for Anglo-Saxon, and those of you close to me probably know the grumbling and mumbling I've borne towards it because it was so beeping difficult. God rebuked (thanks Shiao En, I happened to read your post that day about "do everything without complaining...") me and I decided to surrender it to God. and ah! after a few weeks of waiting for God to change my heart He did, and as I got to work consciously trying not to grumble, and praying throughout it, I gradually got happier and happier doing the work. lol. Anyways. It wasn't a compulsory class that day, but it didn't strike me that I'd be the only student to turn up, and there I was with a whole 1 hour to 2 tutors (one was sitting in. 2 brains to 1!) with quasi-private tuition and that whole hour was just dedicated to helping me with my weaknesses, and they could go along with my speed and requests as well. What a God-send.
Tuesday was an amazing blessing as well. Fears and worries about a girl I do 1-1 with came resolved; she came over for BS that night and her testimony to the reality of God in her life was immensely encouraging; it felt so wonderful to hear about how God's working bit by bit in her life, and spiritually I sensed an even greater stability than before. Had a good BS and discussion too, so it was all good. Kaki came over in the afternoon and we talked and prayed some, that was a blessing to me too when I hear about how God's working through difficulties to bless everyone. Lastly, at night I went over to a girl's house because she wanted to return the 20 quid I lent her. I was slightly anxious at first because we had a little skirmish about 2 weeks ago when our conversation wasn't entirely very pleasant, and it involved certain things about the CU and myself that were quite hurting. Nevertheless it ended on an okay note when we hugged and smiled and I prayed for the entire weekend for God to help me let go and forgive, and He did, He released it off my chest and when I went over that night we had a brief chat afterward when I asked her if she needed praying for anything. She started pouring out things that were on her heart and said she felt really alone and unsupported sometimes, and we started praying. Our friendship jumped to the next level that night. :) Glory to God! - Love covers all sins
Work - feeling all the more motivated this week to read and read, which is good, tho I know there's a lot more to cover. Guilt over a certain incident of the past - plagued me a bit earlier this week but eventually answered so directly and precisely through a book Beth gave me over Christmas because the book and that particular chapter was talking about such a similar experience and how God placed it in his life for a specific reason (sorry to be so cryptic but it's too long to narrate!). Monday night - went to Dave and Lizzie's engagement party and it was so encouraging to see that if a couple is in God, He paves and prepares the way! They got together after much praying and seeking God just last year and I could see in their faces that they knew it was God's arrangement right from the beginning. And they're getting married next summer whee! Hopefully I'll be around to attend their wedding. Ahh, :) like what my mom always says, 神放在一起的，人是不能分开; 神没放在一起的，人怎样也不能勉强。。。
Had a good chat with Yaozu after YCCF last night, time really flew as we shared about different things. And it felt peaceable and edifying (I hope), so I'm really glad I got to talk to you bro!
Answers to prayers - still tonnes! Oh, but this week has been amazing. It's taught me so much about the value of waiting and trusting in God to answer prayers and fulfill promises even if it doesn't feel like it's going anywhere. It's taught me to stubbornly believe in His promises despite feelings! And through the heartfelt prayers and frustrations of the past few weeks there's an amazing sense of peace and stability now, and I only hope it won't decline into complacency and laziness. Oh, God, I'm Yours!
"Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD."
Psalm 27:14
