Haii, I feel slightly blur now about the whole church thing. Been thinking and praying for a long time if I should switch churches but I've always kinda felt comfortable in YCC, although I felt I wasn't getting fed enough with the word I really loved it there. Pretty much settled in, even met with Steve before the easter break and said I'd like to be considered for membership. Funny thing is when I was praying in the morning yesterday suddenly it loomed over my heart, a voice saying, "Have you considered Elim?" And a whole hoard of reasons I've never thought about just came and literally shot through my head, one after another - no, it's not the fact that I've got so many good friends in there and I'm jumping on the bandwagon, it's a combination of the sudden craving for a much older, wiser mentor (YCC has many young parents and students), the discipline to keep my activities and life in check and I'm already praying with groups of people in Elim including Tasha Lauren and Beth, i.e. already part of the church in Elim as Heng Chin pointed out, other considerations and 'mentor-ees' like Huang and etc., even logistical things like distance which will matter in my 3rd year / masters if I intend to serve in the worship teams more actively in church. Also I feel as if YCC has opened up a large part of me in terms of what it really means to worship in Spirit; it was a necessary phase and a necessary 1-2 years in there as I discovered the power and meaning of worship in a biblical way: to dance, sing, shout for joy, and not be concerned if others are looking because it's all through God in God for God. Praise God for leading me to YCC - it's just that now I'm thirsting so much for the depth of God's word and of His knowledge, which sounds promising in Elim small groups. But, argh, what if all these are just my thoughts, my reasons, me? Lord I want it to be about You, You, You, You.
As I was showering there seemed to be another voice in the bathroom saying Just go, but argh I've screwed up so many times in discerning God's voice and I really want to make sure it's Him this time, not me. I guess I'll be attending Elim for the next few weeks to see if it's the right one God's leading me to, possibly attend Home Group with Jonny or Heng Chin. Aiii, but today in church I just felt so "arr I don't want to leave city churchhhh..." and I'm really going to miss the brothers and sisters there too. But oh well, I trust that He'll make it clear in due time, but hm, I'll just focus on what I need to focus on now ba..............
such as having Xiren's wonderful lunch, hurhurhur.
-zooms off-
