Yes. I have succumbed to paracetamol.
*does a Darth Vader* Nooooooo...
Woke up this morning and realllly didn't want to get out of bed, throat was less painful but as dry as ever and I couldn't breathe properly. Then a big flashing neon sign appeared in my head and it went, "maybe you should start taking paracetamol" and I was like "grumble mutter bleah ok I will." I just have an aversion to Western medicine after all its ravages but I guess at times like these I ... just... cross over.. to the dark side...
Just a brief recap of what I've been up to the past week:
-Went ice-skating on Weds yippeee! 'twas so fun and I fell a few times but what the heck it's not falling down that matters it was the reckless skating that was fun :D
-term has ended! Actually it doesn't feel too different from when it was term time, but there's definitely less to do and less pressure, more time and deffo more GOD-time as well. Had fantastic, proper, extended quiet times for the past 2 days.
-Had my first Halifax CU team meeting. Planned out stuff for the next term and shared visions and hopes for the whole of next year. It's not going to be easy but I pray God will grant me grace...
-Went to YCCF (york chinese christian fellowship) for my 2nd? 3rd? time on Fri, it was nice seeing and catching up with people I don't really see around campus
-Played badminton again yesterday, after being thrashed by Nottingham CHINA soc at Nott games a few weeks ago, it was fun :) 'cept that it wasn't a v good idea 'cuz I wasn't feeling all to well...
-Had dinner for the first time with Rokey and Yaozu, we prepared pasta (well it was pretty much a mish-mash of everything) and the pasta was ok I guess. Didn't have much of an appetite but I enjoyed the company. Besides the meal with Mo and Yao the other day, I don't remember having a dinner conversation entirely in Chinese for a reallllllly long time. Even the dinner convos at home would be a mix of Eng and Chinese. Haha it was cool. :)
-Starting to read Christian books again hurrah! problem with my course is you don't read anything else BUT the course books during term time
-can't... remember anything.. else
anyways! I just feel so bubbly today. :):):) Message at York City Church was the Christmas message, they did a funky nativity play that was really really cute. In one scene suddenly everyone rushed onto the stage Bollywood-style and did a dance to a Christmas song and it was hilarious because the little kid playing the donkey couldn't see anything and he/she/it was staggering from side to side and he/she/it gave up so he/she/it just stood still and the donkey just looked so forlorn and cuteeee in the middle of everything else. Then there was the lamb, another kid, who/which kinda just muddled around here and there during the dance. Haha. They were sooo adorable. But anyway I headed for church and attended church with a heavy heart, was feeling muddled about things and generally just sick, maybe it's the flu bug that's been dragging my emotions and confidence down with it but I can't blame it all on the flu bug - still I went to church really exhausted and reticent but I just feel so... happy now. Can't be the paracetamol right.
I think it's the general feeling and reminder... that I'm so loved again. :) Not love of friends or a bf or a parent... it's that unwavering, constant constant, ever so faithful love of my Father and Husband who just... forgives and forgives even if I'm unloyal to Him. Sigh~ What grace, what love.
And I had such a vivid dream. These things have never happened before, it's only happened once or twice before and when they do and I keep praying about them, I get lightning-bolted by some astounding message behind them that have always been revealed thru the Word but... pictures encapsulate things so much more vividly don't they? Last night when I was dreaming there was this one particular scene that was especially clear - my dad was walking me up the altar and as I reached the front, held the hand of my other half. But all I could see was my long white glove and the hand/arm of my husband (the camera frame couldn't fit anything else in, haha); still it wasn't what I saw that mattered, it was what I felt. It was an amazing, amazing warm gush right through my heart to my head, such warmth and security and love. I felt... happy. Joyous. Yes, joyous. I can't go into other details about the dream because it would involve more detail concerning my family background, but when I was praying about it in church, Lord, what does it mean? What can it mean? I suddenly remembered what I read last night about Jesus and the Church:
Ephesians 5:25-33
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
A husband nourishes, cherishes, loves his wife to the core of his flesh and spirit... and Jesus loves me to that very extent and infinitely more.
Jesus... holds my hand.
And will never let me go...
