You know how sometimes there're certain things you know you ought not to do, but end up doing them instead? And sometimes you know there're decisions you ought to make in order to escape from a hell-hole, but find no strength to make them?
Things are so much clearer now. *sigh of relief* Thanks Daddy. It's not over yet, but at least you've knocked on my head and told me to wake up and get out of it. Thanks Abba.
Past few days have been a horrific time, not overtly, but just a nasty worm inside, subtly chewing and chewing my soul because there've just been random neon lights popping up, highlighting human nature and a world of corrupted relationships without God, and I've been struggling with certain things and temptations and discipline and distractions as well. Thank Daddy that today's tutorial went well, lecture was fantastic, and Nora and I are starting to see God answering our prayer about our friendship. Hee. :) Above all I had a fantastic sharing and prayer session with Ailin during which I just confessed my struggles and cried for a friend. That cry was a release of pain - all sorts - intercessory pain, general release... and it felt so nice to have a sister understand and someone with whom I can fellowship spiritually and deeply.
Above all God understands. He knows my weaknesses and He's never ever going to condemn me for my mistakes. *happy sigh*
