Sunday, November 20, 2005 @10:56 PM
back from Utopia... to reality.
sigh.
The past few days have been wonderful, really wonderful. High up in the hills of Newcastleton, Scotland, it was really really cold but astoundingly beautiful at the same time. And what's a camping experience without people? The weekend utopia was a place and time where/when, regardless of your skin and hair colour, language, fluency even, habits, sense of humour, trademarks, appearance, whatever, all is one and one is all... sounds so cliche but it felt so remarkably true... all bonded in the love of God, in His amazing cross. It felt... absolutely awesome. It was so transparent, so honest. Struggles, crying (I love you Tasha), no judgment, DEPTH, spiritual, deep deep deep honesty that you can't get elsewhere. Totally incomprehensible! But so amazing... I've never actually seen such a large group of absolutely loving loving loving people together at one place at the same time...
Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together... Psalm ???
From bagpipes to California to cantonese and crazy Asian girls, to British slang and yummylicious cakes to German
I Could Sing of Your Love Forever to dreams and a future in God and banter and absurdist jokes and hugging and kissing my lovely sisters....
Met so many freshers, got to know the HK people on a deeper level. Had so much fun with them. And played this game called Mafia that's similar but a one-up to Polar Bear! Though I'm not totally comfortable with it because it champions lying as well. Think I should boycott Polar Bear altogether...
Had a 2ish-hour journey back and though I couldn't sleep, one side of my ear was plugged in with Richard's music and I was pretty much in a trance, but thinking a lot, thinking a lot more clearly and allowing God to speak to me in a way. Realised so many things I've never realised before. At one point of time Rich's music got a bit loud and angsty and I started to ponder about why such a gentle guy listens to such music. Realised I wasn't any better last time, and thought about what he shared with Ed earlier on, regarding his parents and the family's history. Suddenly it struck me why I
really tend to be drawn towards really gentle faces, sensitive guys and melancholic eyes. I feel their pain.. and there's a silent spiritual sense that they feel my scars. It's a non-understandable sense of connection and compassion that we share because of what we've been through.
There I sat with Rich, earphones connecting both of us, and I felt such a calm sense of peace and unity... I felt his pain. I felt such a unity in the Spirit, and in God's love, and I know that in the future we won't be hurt in our marriages. It's a really transcendental feeling I can't put down into words, but for a moment I was crying in my heart, out of pain for him? out of joy for our individual secure futures in God? It was a silent journey. But I spoke so much.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face,
And the things on earth will go strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.Will post more about Scotland when pictures from Nagisa and Winfred come.