After an interminable journey of 20 hours, I’m finally at York.
Almost every last SMS or well-wish from friends contains the words “Time really flies”… I guess nothing beats that cliché. The past 3 months seemed longer than usual, but time just slipped by anyway. Seemed long particularly because there’ve been several ups and downs, pretty much all severe downs but crazy ups as well. The transition back to life in Singapore was rather difficult – I wasn’t used to not having my CU mates ever so ready to pray with or to whine to, wasn’t used to the sleeping hours and had insomnia for about a month, wasn’t used to having parental control, wasn’t used to other various things. The first month was quite a trying period, especially at the emotional front. But through the rest of the time there I’ve learnt lots, from friends, from God… and have seen several breakthroughs in many areas, not just concerning myself. My friends’ spiritual lives, the maturity of my church friends, the new enthusiasm for ministry, service and bonding activities in church, even the lives of those closest to me are continually changing and maturing in the Lord’s grace… wow.
God spoke to me lots during the 3 months, about submission to parental authority, humility, not living by law but by ‘peace’, loving without expecting to love in return, loving and daring to face up to my fears of getting hurt, etc. Each comes with a practicum. Haha. What’s the point of doctrine and theory if they don’t apply to real life, eh? God knows it best. And I guess that’s one of the reasons why God puts us in communities now – to learn how to love even unlovable people. Love! That word has so much more meaning to me now… too personal to share but it suffices to say that over the last month God’s set me completely free from a certain paranoia and enabled me to love people in a different way now.
Of course, there were certain things which I regretted:
Shopped too much. Spent wayyyy too much money.
Not spending enough time with mommy
Not utilizing time wisely – now I have tons of readings to face. Mammoth Ulysses included.
Being always on the verge of falling ill. Now I AM ill.
Still there were so many memories and lovely experiences back home:
Going down for kopi/teh/kopi-milo and noodles and chicken rice and prawn noodles for breakfast with momsy and peewee
Just talking to momsy.. even shopping with her. She’s so patient! And I love it when she’s bubbly
Having peewee around to talk/mentor/hug
Talking about random things to my older bro… and going out for gelare!
Having delicious turtle soup and seafood when my dad bought ‘em home for dinner
Sitting at the beach with Tim just talking about various things and praying
Prayer parties!! Oh I love you VJ choir prayer party-ers!
Siglap Siglap siglap siglap.
Parkway Parkway parkway parkway.
Having such a wonderful time bonding with church mates. Cell group. Pool and supper. Polar bear. Hurhur.
I feel so much closer to them now!
Musical Sunday, meishi’s wedding thingy, funfair band…. Lots and lots of band practices.
OH, there’re too many to list…….
Yes, and just when I was settling in the time came for me to uproot and move again. I thought I’d be ok; just the night before when I was having supper at Dunman Food Centre with my church darlings I was just commenting that I didn’t feel anything and it was just as if I weren’t leaving the next day. It felt like that pretty much till 4pm the next day when my younger brother came into my room and wiped my laptop for me. “Let me do one last thing for you before you leave.” Was so touched and shattered by the sudden reminder that I won’t be seeing him for the next 9 months and I suddenly broke down. Went to momsy’s room and the 3 of us prayed together… the loveliness of family prayer. :) Yeah, then the realization of leaving dawned upon me, and since then I felt really unstable. ‘twas worst at the airport, it got slightly better on the plane tho I kept tearing. But it was all irrational – I knew I was going to have such fun in England and I’ve been given reassurances and prophecies of what is to happen, it was definitely going to “work out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose” (Rom 8:28). It was the process of leaving, of uprooting, of getting used to the fact that there will be separation. It is still quasi-irrational, might be just emotional. But it’s a feeling only the experienced or the compassionate will understand.
But! All’s well. Didn’t get my stuff on the first day so I had to sleep in my sleeping bag.. don’t exactly trust the under-sheets of the mattress. Thank God Lin Xue (a girl from Szechuan upstairs) had her summer duvet and a cushion to lend. Tito helped me move my huge cartons to my room the following day (yesterday), and I spent all of the day unpacking and making my room as cosy as possible. It worked. I really like my room. :D
The astonishing thing is.. I’ve got craploads of food. Oh goodness. It’s a good thing definitely, but I was so shocked. I had tons of food leftover from last year, but I forgot totally about them and I brought tons of food over.. now I’ve got… tons and tons of food. Ailin was just amused at my stack of pochai pills and miracle powder (for stomachaches, colds, etc); when Lin Xue saw my cupboard stacked with bags and bags of driedstuff (yellow beans, black beans, barley, mushrooms, white fungus…) she was bewildered. Ha.. you should see my room. Ma, I forgot that I still had 3 leftover mango packs and half a large bag full of tapioca crisps. So… with nestum powder and milo 3-in-1, ginger tea, luo han guo detox stuff, 5-6 bottles of Tegreen (antioxidants), Yang2 shen1, chilli and curry powder.......
Am I blessed with abundance or what?
Haha. Anyways. It’s going to be a happening term. Might be involved in some Handel’s Messiah thing for CU, there’re gonna be lots of prayer parties, cookouts, reading and reading and reading (...), I’m resolving to gym and play tennis and badminton every week…. Well. And there’ll be lots more to come I suppose.
Thanks to those who sent me off at the airport..
To Ma, Pa, Kor, Wei (yes! You were there in spirit! :)), Luther and Xiao Yi..
Thanks my darlings Sam Tim Wenjie Zing, and for the CD and chocs and T-shirt : ) They were all so lovely.
Thanks for all the hugs.
Yups.. and thanks to my mates who flew with me on the airport.. to distract me from emotional blues and in a way, helped me focus on God. Ailin thanks for your testimony about the sermon. it was uncanny, and it reassured me once more of God’s love and omnipotence. Thanks : )
Oh wells. Will be updating once in a while, but I hope you guys will update me of yourselves too! Email, SKYPE (free intl calls!! :D), whatever. Take care dearies. *flies away*
