God is amazing... amazing amazing amazing. Praise to the LORD of heaven and earth!!
I just feel the presence and joy of the Lord in my life almost all the time for the past 3 days. In whatever I do, think or say... I think of the Lord and I really feel His presence. I know He's there building me, holding me up by the arms and helping me walk...
In the mornings, tho, I still awake with an empty sense of longing. Sometimes I wake up feeling lost and dark... but then I immediately turn to prayer and I leave my bed feeling strengthened in knowledge that He is with me, and He's in control.
"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10
I haven't been so sensitive to the Holy Spirit's caution for very very long... even when it comes to simple things like taking an egg from the fridge that doesn't belong to me or leaving something unwashed in the sink, thinking, "oh, someone will wash it for me", it's like I'll hear a stern reproach in my ear telling me not to tread upon even the slightest sin. It's quite amazing... but I've really come to know that the Lord's standards are really really high, and we've come to compromise a lot of them because we take His forgiveness for granted. Still, I am so so thankful for His mercy... because we don't even deserve the love and forgiveness that we are entitled to now. Ahh... God is so sweet.
I led Small Groups (the equivalent of cell group. This is a CU-based, college cell) for the first time today... thankfully, Mike and I are put into the same Small Groups so it's like I don't have to lead bible study alone and Dave said we did a great job filling each other in with details we have missed out, and complementing each other in our work. Thank God! Really thank Him that everything flowed... and I've benefited so much from just studying the Word. Before I went for Small Groups I remember telling Ma that I didn't know how to put some points across because I had no idea who was going to be in my Small Group and I had no idea what their level of 'spiritual maturity' was... so it was going to be quite difficult to choose the things to say. Fortunately, with God's grace, my Small Group consisted of people I already knew and am *rather* familiar with, so I kinda knew where they stood in their relationship with God. I didn't even mind that they all possessed leadership positions in CU... I was just so glad that God gave me such a comfortable group. Ah.. thank God for bible study.. it went so well! I have to remember to keep my pride in check tho!
Another thing that's really amazing is that Dave had the exact same experience as me... we were sharing about things to thank God or ask forgiveness for over the holidays and I shared about the painful experience of giving up something that is so precious to my heart, in order to experience God's love to the fullest. After I shared, he said he had the exact same experience and when he heard me sharing about it, it felt like he was reliving the memory of it all over again. Afterwards in JJ's (the college bar), where we usually congregate after Small Groups, we talked again.. this time 1-to-1 and he said if I needed anyone to talk to about it I could look for him. It's really God's will that both of us can share about this together... he encouraged me by saying that after looking back, he knew that it was the best decision ever made and he was happy he made that decision, although it was painful at first. God is ever so thoughtful... I really feel loved and supported by my loving Father.
I discovered the WONDERS of technology today... I did webcam conferencing with ma/wei/whoever's at home AND VoIP... it felt great just to see them again, and talk to them at the same time too! Later on I tried it with Tim... haha the joys of technology. It really makes the world a lot smaller!
Ok, going to do some reading before I head off to slumberland...
"I could sing of Your love forever..."
