My MOM's on facebook!!! How happening is that!
Realised that SOAS has sooooo much literature on Singapore - not just fiction but things like official legislature to Rafflesian yearbooks, even National Education textbooks. Fun fun fun, I'm gonna 'search out my roots' -cough- and hopefully enjoy my dissertation.
Went to watch Peter Hall's 'The Vortex' (starring Felicity Kendal) with Sabrina last week. Incredible, incredible acting. Finest I've seen so far I think! Moved me to the edge of my seat. Pathos. Gonna watch Alan Bennett's 'The History Boys' with Juline tomorrow.
Zhiying baby's coming with 2 other friends on Weds! w00t. time for some serious catching up!
Gymming's been good. Losing fat! SLOW. But steady. :D
Lots of work! and presentation for friday. But I leave for Holland on Friday too! YAY!!
-out-
Another beautiful, sunny (but cold) day today, with a great time of Godness in church and in various conversations. Think my bro once said something about God existing in the interstices between people and that's so true. In relationships where things aren't entirely peachy keen, especially. Learning abit more about what love really is - timely, considering Valentine's just went by - and that it should stop being able fitting other people into my agenda, but about self-giving, about sacrifice, but not when that becomes a source of pride in itself. It's about... humbling myself even when I think I'm in the right. About opening my heart up to receive and accept someone's love and service, even if I feel I don't merit it. About being patient, and always looking out for the interests of others. Love does not -
"envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Cor 13:4-7)
Another beautiful day of being assured of God's love and presence even when I don't necessarily 'feel' it. Alv told me about a sermon he heard, about the pastor recounting an experience in preparing his son's milk bottle. The baby just kept wailing and wailing and wailing, and the pastor felt so frustrated he couldn't get through to the baby and reassure him that 'Hey my child, the milk is coming, it's coming. I'm preparing it right now.' And so many times in God's seeming silence I just lack the trust that He's there, He's already doing something... and that the milk is coming.
The love of God... is making Alv and I feel so incredibly close even though he's away. There's also a sense of growing love, dedication and joy in our relationship, which is incredible. Cemented by a love he first experiences in God, then relays to me. 'Love your wives as Christ loved the Church', it's said. A clearer idea of what that means now. Amazing.
Love. 'twas the theme for open mic organised by OCF. Strung together a list of songs and came up with something random but which meant alot to me. Didn't sing quite well as I would like to, and guitar wasn't plugged in, but had a lot of fun! And was invited to sing at Gangwei's charity concert next week so that's cool. Check out my lovely Cort MR740fx baby :D
learning important lessons about confident submission to, and respecting and honouring the man. mmm. :)
just been through a rough patch with one of my housemates, but thankfully thankfully God is mediating between us and speaking to us individually. hence the matter is resolved, and what could have escalated to much rage, bitterness, and defensive behaviour, or reduced to a simple cold war, was resolved within two days. we've both learnt what a dangerous thing pride is, and thank God for making us both aware of His first love. good thing Alv and Heng Chin were peacemaking too!
had an awesome time with the other housemate worshipping, singing and praying on the guitar/piano on Sunday night. Haven't felt like that since York where Ben/James/etc would book a piano room/the quiet place and have those spontaneous overnight prayer seshes. :) ah, yes, I should go up to York soon. when's a good, happening time?
today kickstarts my new resolution to gym 3 times a week. At least I've got a routine to work with, now that A's shown me some stuff and provided some basic theory about fitness and gymming. Realised that I've wasted the past half a year doing nothing because I had no one to guide me about safe workouts! (the knee thang.) 'parently weights aren't just for muscle-building; they increase your metabolic rate and are crucial in aiding fat loss cardio workouts! And since I can't run on the treadmill no more, and cycling sometimes hurts the knee as well, the cross-trainer and stepper and rower shall be my best friends.
Jia Min's over for the week, and we had lovely lovely Hare and Tortoise this afternoon! YUMM, I TELL YOU, YUMMMM. The Penang Prawn mee noodles were deeeeeeeeeeelightful.
29 feb 29 feb 29 feb holland can't wait!!!!!!
Deleted an earlier post because I realised it's not helpful to anyone, really. Received a call from my frantic mom trying to clarify the post, and felt like kicking myself in the rear then for not thinking twice before posting it. ohwells, sorry ma >.< hope you're alright.
it's been sunny sunny sunny all week in London! blue skies warm weather, beautiful whee. I really wonder why people always say London is gloomy. That's before global warming I s'pose.
God is so alive and kicking it's amazing :) and when I stood in htb lifting my hands high in worship this morning I felt him worshipping too, and he was so close, so so close...
time to clean the kitchen.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! My friend Ellyjalia from Tanzania is getting married on 3rd May and she invited me to her wedding - oh Daddy Daddy Daddy I wanna go!!
-looks dismally at bank account figures-
we parted at the gantry of a train station not far from my place 2 hours ago; a stirring of stranger's voices, bellowing announcements, 3 black baggages, the shuffling of tickets, long-held looks, close embraces, touch.
he's left for Holland for his final-year project and I suppose this marks the start of a somewhat long distance relationship with intermittent periods of meeting up. Parting was certainly emotional, but there's also a strange steady sense of peace and assuredness that God goes before us and is with us. There will be pangs, recollections, and bouts of longing - but safely tucked 'neath the overarching wings of One who gives what's best and who holds time in His hands What's 2 weeks, 1 month, 3 months or a year in the eyes of eternity if it's truly ours to hold?
'twas a beautiful 3 weeks together. spent particularly lots of time together in the last 1 week, when he'd wait up for me during my 3-4 hour rehearsals and send me home after that, despite staying more than an hour away; when we'd chill out at each other's places; when we'd occasionally stuff ourselves with pub grub, catch a few nights out with his friends (Bleach on PS2 and lots of nuts), watch DVDs and Cowboy Bebop, and so on. Went to the gym and pool for the first time together yesterday which was quite a lot of fun, and then in the evening went for a dress-up 'finito-esque' dinner near my place. The food was truly amazing - oysters, foie gras, fish and wine - and there were smiles, hearts aflutter, montepulciano, fireplace, glances, nods, enjoyable conversation... and excellent waitering/waitressing.
but it's not just... the fancy stuff that's all wow, really. At one moment tears just sprang to my eyes when a scan of the whole past year suddenly leapt back to my mind. Was, and still am, incredibly moved by the way Daddy's been leading us through the past year. For me in particular, through the time of singleness, which was a necessary stage in preparing me for this one, through uncertainty and painful surrendering, through waiting and praying and seeking about each other, through the time of drawing closer, in finally deciding to commit, and now in our interaction and growth together. Humanly impossible, really, in terms of its splendid timing and the staggered movement from one phase to another. There's still so much uncertainty about how I'm going to be healed over past relationships and mistakes or grow in confidence to be a woman who will truly bless him. But God's there, God's delivering, and God's protecting this r/s. We've both come to realise just how much we need Him in the picture, and in being completely honest, transparent and truly loving with each other . The moment we lose it with God individually... we just lose something with each other. There've been slip-ups, errors and failings... but I pray we'll just keep learning and growing in God so we'll grow to love each other even more.
Ah, you must be sick of reading the ramblings of a lovesick bunny. Rest assured, I'll blog more about other stuff in the weeks to come, perhaps about the whole musical fiasco, about OCF cell group squishy-ness, about my lovely friends Anna and Steffi, about my housemates too I guess. Hmmmmmmmm.
But for now, pictures for the busybodies -
Ecclesiastes 3:1-11
"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
... a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
... He has made everything beautiful in its time."